The pain fills me up and I swell to the bursting point,
Eyes leak fluids to show I’m sad yet I feel nothing -
I hold on tight to life but I feel like letting go,
I just don’t know what I’m to do anymore.
A broken heart causes one to not care -
How come a broken heart is never shared?
A broken heart causes one to not care -
How come a broken heart is never shared?
She stands there as she looks me up and down,
She stands there like she just doesn’t care.
Can I say I blame her? I really wasn’t what I should have been.
Can I say I hate her? She gave me a life made of pretend.
A broken heart causes one to not care -
How come a broken heart is never shared?
A broken heart causes one to not care -
How come a broken heart is never shared?
The bottle rests upon the counter top,
Empty as the pills begin to digest -
I can feel it all taking effect,
I’m wobbling trying to stand erect.
Waving from side to side,
Barely able to hide the death creeping into my eyes -
You could have saved me,
But you didn’t want to be the hero here.
You could have taken the pain away,
But you didn’t want to be there hero here -
I’m sorry for all that I have done to hurt you,
I’m sorry for all I couldn’t do.
Please forgive me and,
Say a prayer or two.How
Monday, November 9, 2009
Raised Fists and Bruises All Over...
You cry as you lay in the fetal,
I cry as you lay in the fetal -
Raised fists and bruises all over,
I’m sorry for this.
I cannot control my emotions,
And rage gets out of control -
Raised fists and bruises all over,
I’m so sorry for this.
I never wanted to be your Chris Brown,
Never wanted you to be my Rhianna -
But what can I do now?
What the hell am I to do?
I cry as you lay in the fetal -
Raised fists and bruises all over,
I’m sorry for this.
I cannot control my emotions,
And rage gets out of control -
Raised fists and bruises all over,
I’m so sorry for this.
I never wanted to be your Chris Brown,
Never wanted you to be my Rhianna -
But what can I do now?
What the hell am I to do?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
[Brain]Dead
You’re deep inside me, penetrating – consuming, hating –
Everything I’ve become is slowly slithering, coming undone.
They’re dancing all around me, unseen by the sane,
I promise you these images aren’t all in my brain.
Knife slides across the veins, down a bottle of -
Percoset and I’m all set, I’m so numb – Going dumb,
I’m straight up retarded for ever believing that we had something –
When something never started; will you prey on my dearly departed?
Wading through the pitch black, I’m trying to find my way back –
But all I find is my mother laying on her back, taking the whole fucking axe –
She’s crying and screaming, begging and pleading, asking for forgiveness,
But I can’t forgive shit. Twisted thoughts are dancing, in my head, all I see. Are. The.
[Brain]Dead…
You whisper soft and slow, can I hear you – can I hear at all?
No; all I hear is my fear deep inside of me. I’m so scared to see.
Are there angels here with me? Because all I see are the demons deep inside me,
They’re penetrating to the core, twisting me, hating me, I cannot seem to –
Cannot seem to free myself from this; I’m gripping the trigger tighter –
Push the barrel to my head. Pull the trigger tighter. Listen to the blast echo in the dark.
Light sparks this and bodies falling around me, I’m not dead –
Somehow I survived but I’m not able to eat on my own, got a tube in my throat.
Pumping all I need into me.
You think I’m fine, because I act fine, but truth is -
The world’s truthless. Hiding behind little white lies.
If you believe; everyone dies. There is heaven and there is hell,
But neither of them is like the bible’s fairytales.
There is Satan and there is God, but both of them are fucking frauds.
One tries to consume you, the other does the same.
Both of them want to control you, use you and in the end –
Both of them will abuse you.
You’re deep inside me and you can see inside me,
So you know what I’m really like. I’m twisted and thoughtless,
And I might not have a heart at all. I laugh when you cry,
Smile when old people die. Because you knew it was coming anyway,
So why get all emotional – anyway?
I’m wading through the pitch black, trying to find my way back –
But all I found was a friend of mine; he took the knife and pushed it hard.
I didn’t even see it coming as the cold metal pierced my flesh,
The knife stuck out of my back – now I’m lying on the floor –
Losing track of my blood as it begins to pour (from the open wound).
I am woozy, can you comfort me? I really can’t see at all; everything is blurring.
Can you hear that noise? What’s that fucking ringing in my ear?
Is it Satan calling? Or is Jesus coming near? I haven’t heard the final trumpet,
So it must not be my time – please tell me that this is nothing – I will be just fine.
I haven’t done nothing – that’s a double negative, I think that line. Rocking back and forth in my chair, I am slowly pulling out my hair. But I, just don’t, care.
You’re watching me; I’m pulling flesh from bone -
Why won’t they just leave me the fuck alone?
Everything I’ve become is slowly slithering, coming undone.
They’re dancing all around me, unseen by the sane,
I promise you these images aren’t all in my brain.
Knife slides across the veins, down a bottle of -
Percoset and I’m all set, I’m so numb – Going dumb,
I’m straight up retarded for ever believing that we had something –
When something never started; will you prey on my dearly departed?
Wading through the pitch black, I’m trying to find my way back –
But all I find is my mother laying on her back, taking the whole fucking axe –
She’s crying and screaming, begging and pleading, asking for forgiveness,
But I can’t forgive shit. Twisted thoughts are dancing, in my head, all I see. Are. The.
[Brain]Dead…
You whisper soft and slow, can I hear you – can I hear at all?
No; all I hear is my fear deep inside of me. I’m so scared to see.
Are there angels here with me? Because all I see are the demons deep inside me,
They’re penetrating to the core, twisting me, hating me, I cannot seem to –
Cannot seem to free myself from this; I’m gripping the trigger tighter –
Push the barrel to my head. Pull the trigger tighter. Listen to the blast echo in the dark.
Light sparks this and bodies falling around me, I’m not dead –
Somehow I survived but I’m not able to eat on my own, got a tube in my throat.
Pumping all I need into me.
You think I’m fine, because I act fine, but truth is -
The world’s truthless. Hiding behind little white lies.
If you believe; everyone dies. There is heaven and there is hell,
But neither of them is like the bible’s fairytales.
There is Satan and there is God, but both of them are fucking frauds.
One tries to consume you, the other does the same.
Both of them want to control you, use you and in the end –
Both of them will abuse you.
You’re deep inside me and you can see inside me,
So you know what I’m really like. I’m twisted and thoughtless,
And I might not have a heart at all. I laugh when you cry,
Smile when old people die. Because you knew it was coming anyway,
So why get all emotional – anyway?
I’m wading through the pitch black, trying to find my way back –
But all I found was a friend of mine; he took the knife and pushed it hard.
I didn’t even see it coming as the cold metal pierced my flesh,
The knife stuck out of my back – now I’m lying on the floor –
Losing track of my blood as it begins to pour (from the open wound).
I am woozy, can you comfort me? I really can’t see at all; everything is blurring.
Can you hear that noise? What’s that fucking ringing in my ear?
Is it Satan calling? Or is Jesus coming near? I haven’t heard the final trumpet,
So it must not be my time – please tell me that this is nothing – I will be just fine.
I haven’t done nothing – that’s a double negative, I think that line. Rocking back and forth in my chair, I am slowly pulling out my hair. But I, just don’t, care.
You’re watching me; I’m pulling flesh from bone -
Why won’t they just leave me the fuck alone?
Dancing on the Borderline
You’re dancing on the borderline,
Swaying between sane and insane.
You don’t even know what you’re sayin’,
The words are just flowing – free flowing.
In the darkness your eyes are glowing,
Depression gripping tighter and this frown is growing.
Will you pay attention or continue on not knowing?
Never knowing what you could have had.
Had you just stood up and taken your chance,
Instead of just living your life in safety.
Burning this office picture into iris daily.
Your life is so monotone, you can’t escape it.
The will to live on you can’t fake it,
Death is dancing behind you – you can’t shake him.
He’s getting closer and closer,
your time is drawing to a close now.
Before you even know it, the sky goes black –
Family standing around the casket crying.
You lived your life the same way every day,
Never stepping outside the box you’d been enclosed in.
You lived your life in your casket,
now you’ll live your afterlife with it.
Swaying between sane and insane.
You don’t even know what you’re sayin’,
The words are just flowing – free flowing.
In the darkness your eyes are glowing,
Depression gripping tighter and this frown is growing.
Will you pay attention or continue on not knowing?
Never knowing what you could have had.
Had you just stood up and taken your chance,
Instead of just living your life in safety.
Burning this office picture into iris daily.
Your life is so monotone, you can’t escape it.
The will to live on you can’t fake it,
Death is dancing behind you – you can’t shake him.
He’s getting closer and closer,
your time is drawing to a close now.
Before you even know it, the sky goes black –
Family standing around the casket crying.
You lived your life the same way every day,
Never stepping outside the box you’d been enclosed in.
You lived your life in your casket,
now you’ll live your afterlife with it.
Sewed into a broken heart
I keep pain bottled up inside,
Sewed into a broken heart.
Twisted words from my mouth depart,
Designed and constructed just hurt.
Razors edge slides across frozen veins,
Bleeding memories of years insane.
I’m not who I was before, before –
I’m curled up into the fetal on the floor.
Blood all around, the end is nigh,
I was always worried that I’d die tonight.
Cyanide cocktail kills from the inside.
Sewed into a broken heart.
Twisted words from my mouth depart,
Designed and constructed just hurt.
Razors edge slides across frozen veins,
Bleeding memories of years insane.
I’m not who I was before, before –
I’m curled up into the fetal on the floor.
Blood all around, the end is nigh,
I was always worried that I’d die tonight.
Cyanide cocktail kills from the inside.
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