[Brain]Dead

You’re deep inside me, penetrating – consuming, hating –
Everything I’ve become is slowly slithering, coming undone.
They’re dancing all around me, unseen by the sane,
I promise you these images aren’t all in my brain.
Knife slides across the veins, down a bottle of -
Percoset and I’m all set, I’m so numb – Going dumb,
I’m straight up retarded for ever believing that we had something –
When something never started; will you prey on my dearly departed?

Wading through the pitch black, I’m trying to find my way back –
But all I find is my mother laying on her back, taking the whole fucking axe –
She’s crying and screaming, begging and pleading, asking for forgiveness,
But I can’t forgive shit. Twisted thoughts are dancing, in my head, all I see. Are. The.
[Brain]Dead…

You whisper soft and slow, can I hear you – can I hear at all?
No; all I hear is my fear deep inside of me. I’m so scared to see.
Are there angels here with me? Because all I see are the demons deep inside me,
They’re penetrating to the core, twisting me, hating me, I cannot seem to –
Cannot seem to free myself from this; I’m gripping the trigger tighter –
Push the barrel to my head. Pull the trigger tighter. Listen to the blast echo in the dark.
Light sparks this and bodies falling around me, I’m not dead –
Somehow I survived but I’m not able to eat on my own, got a tube in my throat.
Pumping all I need into me.

You think I’m fine, because I act fine, but truth is -
The world’s truthless. Hiding behind little white lies.
If you believe; everyone dies. There is heaven and there is hell,
But neither of them is like the bible’s fairytales.
There is Satan and there is God, but both of them are fucking frauds.
One tries to consume you, the other does the same.
Both of them want to control you, use you and in the end –
Both of them will abuse you.

You’re deep inside me and you can see inside me,
So you know what I’m really like. I’m twisted and thoughtless,
And I might not have a heart at all. I laugh when you cry,
Smile when old people die. Because you knew it was coming anyway,
So why get all emotional – anyway?

I’m wading through the pitch black, trying to find my way back –
But all I found was a friend of mine; he took the knife and pushed it hard.
I didn’t even see it coming as the cold metal pierced my flesh,
The knife stuck out of my back – now I’m lying on the floor –
Losing track of my blood as it begins to pour (from the open wound).
I am woozy, can you comfort me? I really can’t see at all; everything is blurring.
Can you hear that noise? What’s that fucking ringing in my ear?

Is it Satan calling? Or is Jesus coming near? I haven’t heard the final trumpet,
So it must not be my time – please tell me that this is nothing – I will be just fine.
I haven’t done nothing – that’s a double negative, I think that line. Rocking back and forth in my chair, I am slowly pulling out my hair. But I, just don’t, care.
You’re watching me; I’m pulling flesh from bone -
Why won’t they just leave me the fuck alone?